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For all those people who ask why I run this site, the letter I received today from a bmother in response to the news that we may have found her daughter sums it up.
WARNING! This letter contains material which may affect sensitive viewers. Large box of tissues recommended.
There have been moments when I regretted what I had done but for most I have no regrets. I think the hardest was when our eldest son was born and I held that little body and all the emotions flowed in wondering where she was and who was loving that little girl.
The decision I made to have my daughter adopted was one made after a lot of soul searching.
I come from a very "middle class" background. I am the youngest of five children, was born and grew up in a small town. At thirteen I met a wonderful "boy" and together we "grew up" to what we both believed to be adulthood!! At seventeen the affection we had for one another just got too much and as they said in those days "I got in trouble!!"
We were both extremely frightened and after a lot of pressure from his family he left the picture. Please do not get me wrong he DID NOT desert me, it was either get married or cut the ties completely. I have no regrets for not marrrying him as I realised we were "best buddies" and far too young and not financially secure to try and raise a child .... perfect recipe for disaster.
Reading (name withheld)'s letter has just confirmed what I believed then and still now.... at that stage in my life I would never have been able to give her the "happy and sunlit childhood" every child deserves.
Love is the only thing I would have been able to give her but sometimes that is not enough. Gosh Frances there is so much I want to say but the words just fail me. I know she is my daughter... the letter tells it all!
The most important thing I want her to know is ... I never expect her to accept me as her mother, she has a mother, someone who has loved her and cherished her for thirty years. Believe me it is as hard for me.
I too have wondered if she looks like me ... I have two, of my many nieces, who everyone says are the image of me and I look at them and "wonder"!
Please pass on to (name withheld) that I know what she must be going through. Please assure her I will NEVER try and come between her and her aparents. I will be forever grateful to them for giving her a life I could never have done.
I would love to meet her and to answer her question "why" I'm looking for her.... a piece of my soul has always been missing and just the email I received this morning has put a little back.
Thankyou so much Frances for contacting me and if nothing ever comes of this at least I know my daughter is well and happy the two most important things in life. Thankyou again, Best regards .. you are an angel."