Hi there,
Having read a letter from a birth mother it touched my heart in so many ways. I was adopted and it sometimes breaks my heart to hear and see others in the same boat. Some times I wonder while life was so cruel to dish me out a meal like this one, but then I look back on my adoptive parents and thank god for such wonderful people.

I was born in 1972 in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe, and was given up by my birth mother for reasons I will never know. My elder brother and younger brother are also adopted (none of us have the same mother or father) and we have the most unbelievable adoptive parents that any one could ever ask for. I would like to find out name of who my bparents were and here's why:
I was aged 18 and also unmarried, and the usual thing happened to me as it does to many young girls/woman today. I fell pregnant with my now 12 year old daughter. I think if I did not have the aparents that I have I would never have gone through with having her or even keeping her for that matter. Never wanted to marry her father, but having so many options at the time, I could have picked any one of them and knowing that my aparents would have been there right beside me all the way made the difference. I nearly gave her up but I stopped to think twice. Knowing from an early age that I was adopted, I could not face giving her away to strangers, having carried this little soul in my body for 9 months - no way.

I knew the feelings that were going through my mind about who my mother was, where she is, and why? was the most important question I asked: who do I look like? Who do I take after? These are so many of the questions I ask myself and to see my daughter today and know that I made such a bold choice, it was well worth the sacrifice. When I look back on my life now I could not have wished it any different today. I have 3 beautiful kids, married to a wonderful man, and everything one could wish for, but there is a little part of my heart that still aches and wonders where or why? To me just to know a name would be something to me. I often wonder why could a mom give up a baby that she has carried for so long and not even feel anything. Why make those mistakes if you can't live with them? So many people I talk to (elderly people) say oh at that time my dear things for unmarried mothers were so impossible, but to me love conquers all and there should be no boundries for love.

I just want to know who I look like, who I take after, it really hurts deep inside to know that my birth mother has never even tried to contact me in any remote way. Maybe she hated kids - who knows? But to me just to know who she and he were would be everything to me. I don't want to destroy families, I have wonderful parents and brothers, and the most amazing family I could ever wish for, my kids, my husband ... but there's a small gap in my heart for the mother and father I never knew. All I ask for is to know why? I could live with any other story in my life but just why? I have tried so many times to list my details on this site but they never seem to appear. I have been in contact with Social Welfare here in Zimbabwe, and of course plenty of red tape... birth mother must agree etc etc. So I sit and wait in vain, somehow some where I am sure one day I will find out, but I just don't want it to be too late for any of us. Any way I am not sure where this story will end up but may be it will bring some light at the end of the tunnel.

Your letter was so touching, I just had to spill out a little of my own guts to make me feel a little better, as I don't really talk about this to any one especially my true feelings. Thanks for the space, wish me luck for the future.