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I found both my bparents!

Submitted by Bev

About four weeks ago I spoke with my bdad for the first time, all I can say is WOW!!!, how lucky can one person be.

I was born in Pretoria, April 1966, both of my birth parents were Rhodesian. My bmom went to South Africa to a Catholic home for unwed pregnant mothers. She was only sixteen at the time and her and my bdad were both too young to consider marriage and to start raising a family. She made the very difficult decision of giving me up for adoption.
My adoptive parents have always been and are very loving and caring. I have always felt like I was a precious gift given by a very special person and definitely not abandoned. My adoptive parents wish was to thank my birthmom for her unbelievable generosity and love, for without her they would never have me.
In July 1997 my Mom had seen an article in a South African magazine about helping adoptees find their bparents, she asked me if I would like for her to start my search for me. I thought about it for a while and then said "YES". I have children of my own and wanted to find out some medical history and if I was lucky enough a relationship with my bparents. We had no luck with that agency but I found out that if I wrote to the Child Welfare society, who had handled my adoption, and requested the minutes from the court proceeding I might find out some information about my bparents. I was lucky enough that my parents had kept all their paperwork from my adoption, so I had my file number as well as my name given to me by my bmom. Also I was an adult and I believe you have to be 18 before you can request this information.
When I received my file from the society it not only contained my bmom's maiden name but also her last known address. I then posted several messages on the Rhodesian World Wide Web page "Bush Telegraph" (which by the way is a terrific means of finding someone), I was not able to find her there but was able to find which high school she had attended.
I then went into the 'data base' on the RWWW and searched for people born about the same time and also the school she went to. I found one wonderful soul, who not only remembered her but went to a lot of trouble finding her by looking up a cousin, who in turn gave us a phone number. The person contacted my bmom on my behalf, just in case she did not want any intrusion in her life, but she was so excited and relieved that I had finally found her.
I spoke to my bmom on my 32nd birthday for the first time. What a GREAT birthday gift. I met her for the first time in June 1998. It has been a wonderful emotional roller coaster ride. We look so much alike and have so many similar characteristics.
I have 2 half brothers and half sister (we look like twins). I have met everyone in my extended family and was very fortunate to meet my maternal grandmother in July before she passed away in September. They have all been very accepting of me and have made me feel very welcome. I am looking very forward to our new relationship and will never regret finding them. I then found the courage to find my bfather.
The same wonderful person who took the time and effort to find my bmom, knew my bfather and it took her a day to locate him for me. He has been extremely emotional and it has been just as wonderful for me finding him as it was finding my bmom. He has welcomed me into his life with such warmth and love as has the rest of his family. I have a half sister and two half brothers from his side.
Mom for my birthday, Dad for Christmas, can't get any better than that!!!!!!!
We communicate often and I hope that we will be able to meet one another this year. I am finally at peace with myself, a complete person. I never realized how incomplete I felt until I started the search. Even if I did not have a happy ending (actually beginning) I will never regret my search.
I also don't think I would have been able to search without my aparents love and support. They are wonderful people and I will always think of them as my parents, which they are.
I hope I have not bored you with my story, there are however not enough happy reunions to read about, so I felt very strongly about letting others know that some times your dreams really do come true. God bless all of you in your search and may you find what you are looking for.

Reply:
Submitted by Tom, South Africa
It was really great to read your letter. I am now more determined than ever to find my bmother if she is still alive.
Enjoy your new relationship with your bparents.

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	About four weeks ago I spoke with my bdad for the first time, all I can say is WOW!!!, how lucky can one person be.
	I was born in Pretoria, April 1966, both of my birth parents were Rhodesian. My bmom went to South Africa to a Catholic home for unwed pregnant mothers. She was only sixteen at the time and her and my bdad were both too young to consider marriage and to start raising a family. She made the very difficult decision of giving me up for adoption. My adoptive parents have always been and are very loving and caring. I have always felt like I was a precious gift given by a very special person and definitely not abandoned. My adoptive parents wish was to thank my birthmom for her unbelievable generosity and love, for without her they would never have me. In July 1997 my Mom had seen an article in a South African magazine about helping adoptees find their bparents, she asked me if I would like for her to start my search for me. I thought about it for a while and then said "YES". I have children of my own and wanted to find out some medical history and if I was lucky enough a relationship with my bparents. We had no luck with that agency but I found out that if I wrote to the Child Welfare society, who had handled my adoption, and requested the minutes from the court proceeding I might find out some information about my bparents. I was lucky enough that my parents had kept all their paperwork from my adoption, so I had my file number as well as my name given to me by my bmom. Also I was an adult and I believe you have to be 18 before you can request this information. When I received my file from the society it not only contained my bmom's maiden name but also her last known address. I then posted several messages on the Rhodesian World Wide Web page "Bush Telegraph" (which by the way is a terrific means of finding someone), I was not able to find her there but was able to find which high school she had attended. I then went into the 'data base' on the RWWW and searched for people born about the same time and also the school she went to. I found one wonderful soul, who not only remembered her but went to a lot of trouble finding her by looking up a cousin, who in turn gave us a phone number. The person contacted my bmom on my behalf, just in case she did not want any intrusion in her life, but she was so excited and relieved that I had finally found her. I spoke to my bmom on my 32nd birthday for the first time. What a GREAT birthday gift. I met her for the first time in June 1998. It has been a wonderful emotional roller coaster ride. We look so much alike and have so many similar characteristics. I have 2 half brothers and half sister (we look like twins). I have met everyone in my extended family and was very fortunate to meet my maternal grandmother in July before she passed away in September. They have all been very accepting of me and have made me feel very welcome. I am looking very forward to our new relationship and will never regret finding them. I then found the courage to find my bfather. The same wonderful person who took the time and effort to find my bmom, knew my bfather and it took her a day to locate him for me. He has been extremely emotional and it has been just as wonderful for me finding him as it was finding my bmom. He has welcomed me into his life with such warmth and love as has the rest of his family. I have a half sister and two half brothers from his side. Mom for my birthday, Dad for Christmas, can't get any better than that!!!!!!! We communicate often and I hope that we will be able to meet one another this year. I am finally at peace with myself, a complete person. I never realized how incomplete I felt until I started the search. Even if I did not have a happy ending (actually beginning) I will never regret my search. I also don't think I would have been able to search without my aparents love and support. They are wonderful people and I will always think of them as my parents, which they are. I hope I have not bored you with my story, there are however not enough happy reunions to read about, so I felt very strongly about letting others know that some times your dreams really do come true. God bless all of you in your search and may you find what you are looking for.
	Reply: Submitted by Tom, South Africa It was really great to read your letter. I am now more determined than ever to find my bmother if she is still alive. Enjoy your new relationship with your bparents.
	To add a reply to this page, please click here. Include the submitter's name. Put "ANON" if you do not wish your name and country to appear on the page. If you wish to make direct contact with the submitter, please include this request in your e-mail.